Inside Erin: The AIF Newsletter Volume 3 Number 7 July, 2007 Letter from the Editor You step out of your car onto your new driveway. >Look around You’re standing in a leafy subdivision in a far-flung suburb. It’s the kind of subdivision where no streets run straight for more than a couple hundred feet and many houses are in cul-de-sacs. You have a few moments of solitude before your wife arrives in your minivan with your kids. Once she gets here, you’re going to be pressed into work, so enjoy the quiet while you can. And once the moving van arrives this afternoon, forget it. Your new house (that’s it to your west) is not in a cul-de-sac, thankfully. It’s in the middle of a block of similar, though not identical houses. There are maybe four or five different home models, all built in about 1980, meaning that they’ve had had plenty of time to grow differently as different owners have lived in them. At the curb in front of each house is a mailbox, each different. The mailboxes punctuate the street as much as the driveways do. They face out to the street so the mail can be delivered from the truck. The mailman (sorry – postal delivery operative) must not get much exercise. You know that the suburb is one where all the shopping is in strip malls. You’re not excited about that, but then again, you’re not too excited about shopping anyway, so it’ll have to be OK. The hard part is always remembering how to describe each strip mall: “Is that the strip mall with the Wendy’s or the one with the Burger King?” “Is it on the corner of Rt. 83 and Rt. 12 or on the corner of Rt. 83 and Rt. 58?” “Is it the strip mall before or after that other strip mall… you know which one I mean, right?” Yikes. Your house has a brick-faced garage at the end of the driveway, and set back from the garage is the body of the house, a two story Colonial style with three bedrooms inside. You’ve joked with your wife that it looks like a garage with a house attached. Well, now both – garage and its attending house – are yours. The rest of the house has white aluminum siding on it. You check out your landscaping. Hmm. Needs work. There’s a gorgeous tulip magnolia next to the driveway, and a juvenile aspen in the parkway. Near the edge of your lot is a towering spruce and at the corner of your garage an unruly pine. In the backyard you know is a 30’ tall ash tree. Wow. You had only a crabapple at your last house and now you have all these trees. You think about the headaches to come. Not to mention the lawn, which looks to have been neglected by the previous owner. You finger your keys in your pocket. >Walk around back Striding leisurely across the lawn, you arrive in your backyard. It’s not a secluded yard as it blends with your neighbors’ well-kept lawn to the north. To the west is another neighbor’s neglected fenced-in swimming pool. The pool is covered with a tarp and the deck around it is overgrown with weeds. To your south your neighbor’s yard is separated by a thin hedge. The house beyond that one has a perfectly manicured garden. So it’s not completely homogenous, you’re glad to see. You won’t have either the worst nor the best yard and garden in the area. Through the hedge you see two small boys, maybe five and eight years old, come out of the house, followed by their mother. >X mother I bet you were wondering when I’d get to the AIF part. This is it. Sort of. Well, not really. Maybe this part could be continued after you get to know her a little… The boys’ mother isn’t the hottest woman you’ve ever seen, but she’s still a MILF. You try to keep her in sight despite the leafy screen separating you. She’s got a trim, compact body that shows some athletic tendencies. Her legs are strong, her ass thin and muscular. She has small breasts under a tan t-shirt. Her blond hair is tied into a short pony tail. She immediately gets into it with her young kids, chasing them around their yard. They run and scream like banshees. She’s lively and fun. You think she’ll make a nice neighbor. Just how nice remains to be seen. >Walk back into the front You make your way back to your front yard. It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining, it’s unseasonably cool, with a slight breeze. Your silver minivan pulls up and stops and your kids jump out and run over to you, looking around at their new home in amazement. It’s the start of the next phase in your life. * * * A quick word about this month’s edition. Chris Cole’s “Seven Seas of Theah” is on hiatus for the summer. We look forward to its return in the next couple of months. We engage in some good old fashioned Vachon bashing this month. It’s unnecessary and cruel, I know, but fun nevertheless. Also, I really want to encourage more participation in the “Beat the Staff” competition for this month. It’s even easier than the one for last month so you have no excuse. * * * This month in AIF by BBBen It’s been a slow one since the end of the mini-comp, no new games & no big news, but this “Beat the Staff” competition we’re running this month has been a point of interest to anyone competing in it (which includes myself). Hopefully there have been a fair number of good entries, and if you’re reading this then you’ve got the newsletter with the entries in it so you can go and check for yourself. The AIFCommunity.org site went down for a while but it apparently wasn’t a crash, so there wasn’t any real problem except for the temporary down-time. Mind you, the data is backed up these days so it can be recovered if we experience another crash like the one that killed off the AIF Community Portal a while back. We didn’t wind up having a ceremony for the mini-comp. Maybe next year. Which reminds me, I’ll be finalising the Erin results page on the Erin Awards website once I’ve fully sorted out the “blurbs” – Bitterfrost designed some great award graphics (almost all of which will go to GoblinBoy, of course) so I’m keen to let people see them. Anyway, that’s it for this month – I want to see some more new games soon, so get to work, you lazy bastards! * * * Beat the Staff #1 These are the entries in the inaugural Beat the Staff cut-scene competition. Please read them, enjoy and vote for your favorite. Remember that the theme is “5 Seconds”, meaning that all the action for each cut-scene must take place in five seconds of in-game time. The best entries will use text to convey how much can happen during just five seconds. There will be a poll set up at the Yahoo! AIFArchive site (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/aifarchive). Then, next month, join in! See the article following the entries for information on Beat the Staff #2 Entry #1. Chris Cole (staff) >x ass Lori's ass is su-weeeet! It's what you call a badonkabutt; round, firm, big and has a hypnotizing wiggle when she walks. Right now she's wearing grey work-out shorts that cling to her butt, showing all the curves. You stand there, transfixed as she walks quickly on the treadmill, her ass wiggling and jigglling firmly underneath those shorts. Back and forth and back and forth. You can almost glimpse the bottoms of her butt cheeks peeking out underneath those thin, tight shorts. Back and forth and back and forth. Damn would you like to hit that! You can feel your cock growing stiff under your pants, and force yourself to look away for a moment, so you don't have a tent pole in the middle of the gym. Entry #2. A. Bomire (staff) >open door Spying a light on in the principal's office, you open the door, stepping inside. "Nora?" you say, as you enter. "I'm glad I caught you before you left. I think we should discuss.." You stop there, shocked at what you see. Gone is the normally demure and reserved principal. Instead, you see a woman caught in the throes of passion, her white blouse unbuttoned and her large, full breasts covered in a sheen of sweat. Her skirt is pulled up, exposing the rounded swell of an ass you wouldn't have guessed was this toned, even under her usual skirts. Her long hair is pulled from its normal bun, and wild strands are plastered to her face. As she turns her face towards you, you see that the man under her is definitely not her husband, but instead the night janitor, his eyes round as he stares at you. His hands clutch her heaving breasts, fingers toying with her nipples. You look down to see his pants bunched around his knees, and his thick cock pressed balls-deep into her open pussy. You grin, closing the door, and saying "I'm next!" She gasps, but stares at the bulge beginning to stretch your pants. "Next Hell!" she grunts. "You keep quiet about this, and you can go right now!" She reaches back, spreading the cheeks of her ass, revealing the tight, puckered opening of her anus. Entry #3. Knight Errant (non-staff) >wake You stir slightly in your bed, drifting somewhere between sleep and awake. The sheets rustle, Aemilia must be awake. Keeping your eyes closed, you begin to slip deeper into sleep . There is a brief moment of dream, Venus herself is kneeling before you and looking up at you as if you were Adonis himself. She strokes your cock gently, then slowly licks it from bottom to tip before taking the head in her mouth. The goddess bobs her head around you sensually, her divine tongue sending spasms through your body. You intertwine your hands in her hair, begging for more. Before you get to the climax, however, you begin to wake again, and the dream fades. A long slow lick across your cock proves that the blowjob wasn't just a dream. You moan as Aemilia rubs your cock head against the ridges in the roof of her mouth, then takes your full length down her throat. She pulls her mouth back, rubbing the shaft with her hand. "Good morning," she grins.. Entry #4. Sphynx (non-staff) >again (fuck Cheryl) You keep the pace of the rhythmic thrusts going. The familiar tingle deep inside your balls begins to grow intense. You know that any second now your wife, whom you've always loved will once again be filled with your seed. The way her eyes are fixed on you shows that she knows it as well. She balances carefully on the coffee table as she moves her hand down to rub her clit, hoping to climax with you. The taboo of her touching herself is not lost on you. She rarely does such a thing in your presence. It seems she has an idea to mimic your spontaneity. The tingle in your balls grows and enters the base of your cock, intensifying your excitement of the situation. You would have never guessed that a woman in her sixties would enjoy your sudden re- interest in sex. Ah, but the flashes in your mind of how she let you ravage her in the last fifteen minutes leaves you reeling. The way you had come up behind her, wrapped your arms around her and felt those still firm breasts as if for the first time. The way she had let you eat her out, something that she had been vehemently opposed to during the first years of your marriage. The way her pussy had no trouble lubing itself with her juices and how they flowed down your mouth with her first orgasm of the day. You know there is no force on earth that can stop you from cumming deep inside her. As the tingle slowly builds up into your cock, a sudden pang hits you like a brick wall. Something's not right. The tightness in your chest is back and you now realize it was not caused by the weight of your wife resting on you as you ate her out. You slow your thrusts, trying to put the puzzle together, but this only increases the feelings in your cock, making the subject of your discomfort less manageable. Your hot cum is boiling on the tip of release and you are more than overwhelmed at the lack of control you have over your breathing! Your chest is killing you (quite literally) and yet you are fully unwilling to cease the activity which is causing it. Its ok, though, you think. It'll all be over in a second. You bury yourself deep inside your lovely wife, taking note of the delicious smile she is wearing because of your actions. In a single instant, a universal irony takes place. Your cock can no longer hold back the flood of cum and you automatically release deep inside Cheryl. She too is having an intense orgasm, blocking all sights and sounds from her mind. You, however, can only faintly feel the release, as the lack of oxygen turns your face a disgusting pale blue. The pain in your chest dims, as does all feeling in your body. And as you collapse on top of your bride of 35 wonderful years, your mind goes blank, and though your eyes remain open, they see no more. You are dead. Congratulations! You have found ending 2 of 6. This means that you have died. Take heart though (pun intended), if it makes you feel any better, your last load has impregnated your wife. And although she is quite old to have a baby, it will all turn out ok. And she names it after you. Entry #5. BBBen (staff) >fuck Betty You slide inside Betty's pussy with your "pretty damn big cock" (as she put it). It's so tight, but it's so wet you get in her without too much difficulty. There is a look of sheer thrill, an exhilarated smile on her face as the pretty little blonde clutches her friend Julie's hand and gets fucked. She may not have been a virgin (imagine that – the girl who goes around school calling other girls sluts for having sex isn't a virgin herself!) but she's clearly never been in a threesome before. She's revelling in the sheer sexuality in the room – she knows she's doing something incredibly slutty and she loves it. Statuesque Julie has a calmer but still excited demeanour as she flicks her red hair and watches her best friend get penetrated on the living room couch. You got such a shock earlier when you heard the sound of a car engine and the noise of wheels crunching over gravel. "My parents are back!" Betty had cried out with wide eyes. At the time she and Julie had been giving you a blowjob, but Betty had shouted, "Get your clothes on, Jack!" and the two girls had started scrabbling to get their own clothes on. You'd fumbled with your clothes until Betty hit on an idea – her parents didn't know you and Julie were there, so she sent you both to hide in her ensuite bathroom (rich girl). She dealt with her father (who, it turns out, had just come back to pick up something for work that he'd forgotten on his way out this morning), and you were left in tight quarters with Julie. Julie hadn't even spoken; she'd just sat on your lap while you sat on the seat of the toilet, pulled your hands onto her body and started kissing you passionately. She's never been one for speaking more than necessary, which ads to her quiet mystique, but it's not like her tongue was any less impressive for lack of use. Before you knew it Betty had hauled you back to the living room and encouraged you to get her juices flowing again, suggesting that if you did it would be worth it – and it was! You'd never admit that this is your first time – you've already told everyone you managed to score with your ex- girlfriend Samantha even though in reality she gave you the cold shoulder. It doesn't matter anyway; Betty and Julie are fucking hot and you're having a threesome with them! Watching the two girls making out and touching each other's bodies got you so worked up before that now you're going to have to desperately focus on not coming so that you can get a chance to fuck Julie too. No doubt, this is the best moment in your life; Betty lying beneath you with her perfect, slim body, clearly loving to take every inch of your cock; Julie sitting alongside the couch looking spectacular – a gorgeous dessert for you once you've had your fill of Betty. Then you hear the door open. "I forgot one more thing!" Betty's father's voice fills the house. The looks of shock freeze on the faces of all three of you. 5 seconds. You were in heaven for a total of 5 seconds. Entry #6. Paul Swift (non-staff) >Fuck Victoria You break eye contact with Victoria for a split second to glance up at the clock; there are only five seconds left. You find it hard to believe that you are here, with her like this. Up until ten minutes ago Victoria Blakesley wouldn’t even have given you the time of day as you passed her in the hallway, now you are balls deep inside her and hearing her soft moans in your ear. At least some good came out of this morning’s madness. As the clock changes to four seconds you retreat out of Vicky’s body and gaze into her dark brown eyes, letting her expensive sweet smelling perfume fill your nostrils. You push your way back inside her, feeling her warmth envelope your manhood. Her breath tickles your ears in the most delightful way as she grips tightly to the back of your shirt. Her black stocking clad legs wrap around your waist and cross at the ankles behind you, pulling you deeper inside her. You begin to pick up speed. Three seconds to go. You briefly look around you and are not surprised to see many people with the same idea as you. Various unlikely couplings are busy pleasuring one another, but many more are alone. These petrified loners look at you and your like-minded colleagues with contempt and maybe a hint of jealousy, nobody wants to be alone right now. Two. You look back down at Victoria. Her long dark hair, usually kept in a tight business-like bun is loose and is spread out around her head like a dark, sensual aura. Her usually immaculate skirt- suit is now rumpled. Her white blouse unbuttoned revealing her heaving breasts, barely held in place by a straining black lace brassiere. Her smart pinstripe skirt is pushed up around her waist to reveal her black lacy French knickers, now pushed aside to enable access. One. “Don’t stop” Victoria whispers into your ear in her refined upper class accented voice, “Whatever you do, just don’t stop” she pleads again. Far from stopping, you speed up once more, now very close to climax and desperate to beat the clock. Her face contorts with ecstasy as she digs her long manicured and painted nails into your thinly covered back, at the same time her slender body stiffens. Victoria lets loose an animalistic cry, filling your ears and the ears of everybody in the room. Zero. Now settling down, Victoria looks up at you contentedly as you continue to close in on your own orgasm. You had no way of knowing that something like this would happen when you left for work this morning, leaving your pregnant girlfriend to sleep in bed. You are sure Victoria wouldn’t have entertained the idea either, as she kissed her husband goodbye and drove to work in her Jaguar. But this morning is something far away, something that happened in another lifetime. Things were very different then, before the animal rights activists showed up at the lab. You feel that it is time, and under the circumstances you have no desire to try to hold on. You lean forward and kiss Vicky firmly on the mouth, tasting her sweet breath. At once you feel a great release wash over you as you let go, filling your boss with your seed. There is a sudden flash, as you and everybody you work with are torn to pieces in an explosion. Shocking your community to the core and bringing widespread condemnation down on the perpetrators that will never be caught. Entry #7. Purple Dragon (non-staff) Surprise Party >turn on light "Surprise!" Just that one word and then silence. You look around the room and see your friends frozen in place like a living, breathing photograph. 20 or so people crammed into your living room and not a stitch of clothing in sight on any of them. They really went all out for this one you think as your eyes are assaulted by a hundred streamers and balloons in red, yellow, green, and blue. There are two tables set up at the side of the room. One contains what looks to be every alcoholic beverage known to man while the other holds a formidable collection of sex toys. Dildos and vibrators of every shape and size, handcuffs, rope, blindfolds, nipple clamps, collars, and a huge punch bowl full of condoms in more different colors that the steamers. You had been planning on grabbing something to eat and watching the game but it appears that your plans have changed, and very much for the better. You let your eyes roam across the photograph in front of you. There's Lisa, front and center; she would have been the main organizer of the event. She has a bright smile frozen on her face and is standing with hands on hips, legs spread slightly apart, and those incredible tits of hers jutting right out toward you, begging to be touched. You'll have to get right to that in a second but first, let's see who else is here? There's Mary and Susan on the couch with their lips locked together. Mary has her hand on one of Susan's tits and is exerting quite a bit of pressure if the amount of Susan's large breast trying to escape between her fingers is any indication. Mary has her legs spread wide apart and who is that in between them? Yes, Jackie always did have a preference for muff diving, although to be fair, she also gives one hell of a blowjob. Speaking of blowjobs, There's Drew standing behind the couch cupping one of her huge tits in both hands with her lips locked around her nipple. Damn that girl can suck cock. You would swear that she could suck a golf ball through a straw if given half a chance and a good enough reason. Next to Mary on the couch is John with a huge sloppy grin on his face. You can't really blame him for that as you look down and notice his cock imbedded in Laura's sweet little pussy. Hmm, it looks like she's shaved since the last time you saw her. She is facing you and her smile is as big as his. It probably has something to do with that thing sticking her between the legs and John's hands on her tits. Laura has the smallest tits in the group, not even a whole handful, but man can you make her sing if you play them right. There's Amy, the acrobat of the group, showing off again. She is doing a handstand and her legs are spread apart forming a V. Mike is holding her up with his hands on her legs and his face buried between them. You've tried positions with Amy that you could have sworn were physically impossible. To say that she's flexible would be a tremendous understatement. You smile as you look next to the couch and see a human pyramid made up of three girls. Sure it's not a very big pyramid but what it lacks in size it more than makes up for in other areas. The girls are on their hands and knees, facing away from you so you can't see their faces but you would recognize those asses anywhere. It's Mandy, Mindy, and Meagan. They are not only sisters, but triplets and a lot of people have trouble telling them apart but even from this angle you have no problems. That's Mandy on the right with the cute little birthmark on her left cheek. The first time you saw it you teased her about it being a hickey and before the night was over you had given her a matching mark on the other cheek. It's long since faded away by now but the memories linger. Meagan is on the top and you can tell it's her since she is a good 20 pounds lighter than her sisters are. You have mixed feelings about the diet that she has been on for the last few months. She looks great but some of the weight has dropped from her tits and ass, which is not necessarily a good thing. Well, any way you look at it, all three sisters are hot and extremely energetic. The first time you had them all the same night you could barely walk straight the next day. You look around for Rachel, your girlfriend and finally spot her to the side of the room. It took a second since you can't see her face. She currently has Steve's cock in her mouth and all you can see is his ass. You look down and see that she's started fast tonight. In addition to Steve in her mouth she is sitting on Mitch who has her impaled on his cock. As if that's not enough she is holding Gary and Bob in either hand and, frozen or not, they can't quite stops their rods from twitching slightly in her grip. You chuckle to yourself at the sight. She is evidently trying to shock you but the only thing you would change if you could would be to add your own cock to the mix. She doesn't appear to be doing anything with her ass at the moment, hmm. Time ticks by as you study the picture of carnal excess on display before you and while it has only been a few seconds since you entered you can already see the strain on the faces of some of your friends. They remain still and silent, waiting for you to speak the ritual words that will get things started again. Well, who are you to hold things up? Kicking the door closed behind you, you reach out for Lisa's waiting breasts as you say, "Let the games begin." Entry #8. Grimm Sharlak (staff) >lick tits There wasn't much time. You and Sherry had snuck into the storage closet on her all too short break, but you'd be damned if you weren't going to taste those delicious breasts you'd dreamed about, fantasised about. You take a moment to look at her gorgeous rack, medium sized breasts capped with small pink nipples. Wasting no time, you dive into her titflesh. Burying your face in her mounds, you find her left nipple and suck it hard. Sherry runs her fingers through your hair as you go, letting out as loud a moan as she dares. Your hands knead her breasts as you turn your attention to the other nipple, sucking away just as hard. It all seems too short, however, as Sherry's hand tightens in your hair as she demands: "Dammit, we don't have time! Hurry up and fuck me!" Entry #9. A. Ninny (staff) >Brittany, suck cock You lie back on the carpet. Brittany's head is down around your waist. She has let her hair flow over her face, the effect of which is that she has created a private chamber for her face, which includes your cock at the moment. She's topless, her smooth shoulders and back draped with her long shiny brown hair. She's wearing tight dark blue jeans, they show off her wonderfully round ass to its best effect. Her naked upper body seems an entirely different world from her concealed lower, and you're quite eager to get to know that world better. Looking down your body you see Brittany only in fits and starts through her massive cascade of dark hair. When you do see her, it's mostly her eyes, staring through her superimposed screen, watching you closely. You feel her hand on your cock. Her hand is warm and soft, and gentle. She is just holding you, not rubbing, taking a private moment alone with your penis. You feel her breath on the head of your cock, getting warmer. Humidity collects and cannot escape her hair chamber. Then. Warm. Wet. Enclosed. Inside. Feeling. Then. Cool. Air moving across. A low humming moan escapes your throat. Her mouth covers your penis once again and you feel her teeth barely touching your shaft as she takes in several inches of your length. Her head drops, hair masses on the floor around it, making little archways into which you can see. Her lips are surrounding your penis, easily, without strain, and her head bobs slowly up and down. You grunt as a near-orgasmic jolt courses through you, threatening to finish you too soon, but, amazingly, it dissipates. Entry #10. peterson9803 (non-staff) >kiss Emily You pull her towards you, and for a moment she's shocked, but then she melts into your embrace. You know you don't have much time. You know she'll be gone soon, somewhere you cannot follow. But you have these, what, five seconds, and you two will make the most of it. Your tongues wrestle, and she tastes of cinnamon and gunpowder, and it reminds you of how you met, two days ago, when she took you hostage, held a gun to your head and placed you between her and the guards. You could feel her small, firm tits in your back, just like you can feel them now pressing against your chest, and you smell her black hair, still drenched in the stank of blood, even though she's showered three or four times, and it takes you back to her temporary lair, where she removed the bullet a cop hat fired into your leg, and you can still hear her explaining what she did, why she did it, and why she's a wanted criminal and you're basically a good guy, but it's drowned out in the now by her fast, frantic heartbeat, which you don't hear but internalise, and you know your pulses are identical, in this very moment. She pushes you away after eight or nine of these fluttering throbs, and turns her head, and for a second you see a glimmering of tears in her eyes, and in this second you know you'll love her forever and ever, just like you'll be the one and only for her. But she's a felon on the run, and her only hiding place left is a city of sin, a city of murder and violence. She'll fit in there, like a fish in water, but you wouldn't survive even a day. Then she's gone. As far as first kisses go, it was terrible. But for a last kiss, it was perfect, too long to be a friendly peck, to short to be a promise of something more, encompassing everything about your relationship. YOU HAVE WON! AND YOU SUCCEEDED IN GETTING THE BEST ENDING! Entry #11. Bitterfrost (staff) >taste Shari Perched on the edge of the table, Shari reclines back on her hands, eagerly awaiting your attention. You shift your weight on your knees and smile, face-to-face with her wild, red tuffet. Her long, pale legs dangle off into infinity on either side of your head. You stare up from her copper thatch, over her small mound of belly, past her dumpling breasts and a scatter of freckles to her flushed face. The heat is unraveling her tightly bound librarian's bun. Sprigs of red hair hang over her face. Her blue eyes stare through a haze of endorphins and unexpected abandon. Holding eye contact, you lean in close, the soft crush of curls tickling your nose. You extend your tongue and take a single, slow ice cream lick up her labia, parking your tongue under her clit. Her eyes narrow to aching slits. Her lips purse, blowing out slow, ragged breaths. As you cradle her nub, her flavor gradually sears your tongue. Her pussy tastes as fiery as it looks. Cinnamon and cayenne. Sweet fire. Like a particularly strong ginger snap. You take a good, long drag and then exhale a hot, longing breath through your nose. Her spicy scent ratchets up your urge to lick like mad, to drink her greedily down, but you wait, savoring. You hold her at tongue's length for several heartbeats, tasting her, watching her. Her eyes, just barely open, convey a complex mix of desire, trust, impatience and a hint of self-consciousness. Shari moans that deep, glorious, pivotal moan that says you can do anything you like, anything at all, just make her come. You feel a tremor roll down her body, quivering past your face and down her dangling legs. Her bottom starts to squirm impatiently on the table. She sighs, wanting more, needing it all, but you hold your tongue. * * * Beat the Staff AIF Writing Contest #2 You are hereby invited to take part in the Second Beat the Staff AIF Writing Contest! The theme for this month: >X CHICK This theme came about because Bitterfrost and I have spent many hours over the past few months, exchanging daily AIF-style descriptions of the women we see around us. Yes, we’re pigs. His favorite woman by far is Laurie, one of his co-workers. Here’s a sampling: >X Laurie Laurie is looking very much like an also-ran from an eastern European supermodel contest today-- in a very good way. Her long, brown hair is styled such that it drapes provocatively over the right half of her face. She's wearing a long-sleeved, black top with a cleavage-baring scoop neck. Cream linen pants cling to the lower half of her body, making every curve an event. You suddenly find yourself incredibly thankful for such natural wonders as hips and thighs. Her top rides high in the back as though refusing to deny you a perfect view of her round ass. The word "cheeky" was never more apropos. In addition to making her legs look even longer, her high-heeled sandals make her bottom protrude like a bustle. My favorite is Lee Ann, a gorgeous woman at my workplace. Each day I offer Bitter her description. Here’s one: >X Lee Ann Lee Ann is a totally unintentional sex goddess. She is just so casual, and it drives you crazy. She just breathes sex. Her hair is shoulder-length and straight, and it is just unruly enough. Tufts of it are always falling across her face, blocking one or the other of her eyes, giving her a half-hidden allure. She's wearing a totally unbuttoned light green button-down shirt. Under that is a very loose white top. It has a wide, low neck, that when she moves provides glimmers and gaps all over. The top also has a ruffle across her midriff that sets her abdomen apart from her chest. Down below are black slacks that seem to end halfway between waist and hips. When she moves about, flashes of flesh between the slacks and the shirt come and go in a very frustrating but eye-catching way. * * * Here’s the short: You submit a single AIF cut-scene of any length you want, it conforms to the assigned theme. All six of us staff members each write a cut-scene of the same theme. All the cut- scenes get published next month. Everyone votes. Someone wins. If you beat the staff, you get ultimate bragging rights. Here’s the long, drawn-out, list-format rules: Submissions must be in the format of a single AIF cut-scene or ‘turn’. The cut-scene must include the player command. There is no limit (minimum or maximum) to the length of your submission. Submissions must be original, never released before (though they may be drawn from a work in progress). The deadline for submissions is July 30, 2007. All received submissions will be published in the August edition of “Inside Erin”. Following publication, a Yahoo! poll will be set up. Everyone will be invited to vote. Voting duration will depend on the number of entries received (how’s that for a novel idea?) A single winner will be announced. Entries should be e-mailed to ninnyAIF AT gmail DOT com. This is the most important part: Submissions must conform to the following theme. THE THEME: “>X chick”. Your cut-scene should contain a description of an AIF NPC. Despite the theme being “>X chick”, it isn’t necessary that the NPC be female. The criteria. What’s going to make your entry better? Well, keep in mind that you’re not writing an entire AIF. That means that this cut-scene is a self-contained entity. Typically, “>x chick” translates into “provide a description of the chick.” How can you make this better? Think about ‘x’, which actually means ‘examine’ - an active verb. The PC should be involved in the examination somehow, adding the feeling of interactivity to the scene. Good luck! * * * How NOT To Write AIF by Bitterfrost Hello and welcome to How NOT to Write AIF, the monthly rant of a madman and his unending AIF project. I'll keep it short this month because I have some important drinking to do. In my quest to spend my free time doing everything but working on my game, I've found renewed affection for the guitar, and I've been noodling around with it in earnest. Yeah, I know. Never has the expression "git-fiddle" been more apropos. Hey, I can play Black Hole Sun and one mean Mary Had a Little Lamb. Actually, it's been a great way to empty my head lately. It's been a stressful month. The Bittermistress is pleased that I'm doing something that doesn't involve a screen. Better than that, she finds it sexy, which means more sextracurricular activities, which means more inspiration for my game. Speaking of which, I actually worked on it this month. I decided to forego trying to focus enough to fiddle with structural elements and went full-on into writing smutty goodness. Sex scenes galore. Since AIF is fantasy, it only makes sense that we tend to idealize the sex scenes. You've got to have that, but I like to mix in some unexpected turns as well. Sometimes, it's when things go a little askew that sex is the most memorable. Say, when you and your partner don't come at the same time, leaving one of you wanting, needing some extra attention to get off. Or when a particular sensation is so unexpectedly strong that one of you comes hard. It's often more fun to write those scenes than the straightforward, driving, you-come-in-tandem bits. Maybe I'm just weird that way. Regardless, I'm trying to keep the various scenes fresh instead of the same recycled text with different names. Also, I'm trying to make every sex task an event instead of an aside. It frustrates me sometimes when an AIF game's scenes are erobrupt. I mean, sex is the reason you're playing, so the scenes should be titillating if not full-on engaging. I know the >x and >rub tasks are traditionally considered appetizers leading up to the meaty intercourse, but I'm usually disappointed when >rub tits nets you something as brief as "You squeeze her big tits. They feel good." Maybe it's because I prefer my words in bulk (as you know all too well, tortured reader), but I need more to chew on than that. As the Fat Boys once rapped, "Why have a snack when you can have a meal?" Besides, in real life, you don't just reach out, grope and release. You ease into it, right? There's lead-up to the actual squeezing, and there are consequences. It's an event. So, with that in mind, I'm writing my scenes with beginnings, middles and ends. Like so: >rub tits "Look at that amazing thing over there!" you say, pointing off at nothing in particular. Angie cocks an eyebrow, smirks and goes along with the gag, turning away from you. For a mischievous moment, you appreciate her short hair and how exposed it leaves her long, elegant neck. Leaning in, you lay your hands on her waist and place a featherweight kiss on the nape of her neck that tickles her nerves and her fancy. She sighs and arches her back. Drawing more sparks, you brush your lips across her skin, your nose tickling the fuzz where her haircut tapers off. She hums like she's just tasted some aggressively rich chocolate. "Oooh. That's good," she whispers, a little ache in her voice. You slowly pepper her neck and ears with airy kisses while your hands subtly climb her torso. Your chin nudges her shirt collar, tugging it down and exposing new skin for you to tease. When your hands glide up and grope her tits through her shirt, Angie reacts to the surprise by trying to laugh and moan at the same time. The sound is so sexy it should have its own spread in Playboy. "Mmm. That's very good." Your thoughts exactly. Eager to reproduce that reaction, you fondle those perfect handfuls and rake your lips across the base of her neck. She begins to chuckle, pauses to groan, resumes her laughter and then ends with a moan, all in one breath. Focusing on her left ear, your lips brush, kiss and playfully tug at it, while your fingers circle a couple of very hard nipples. Angie purrs and presses her behind against your pelvis, sandwiching your bulge between her soft, warm cheeks. She clenches them and rolls her hips, successfully stroking your dick in a way you'd never guess possible fully clothed. You moan into her neck, and she laughs at her coup. She gives you a few more squeezes for good measure and turns around to kiss you. "God, I'm so wet right now," she whispers between kisses. That's the flavor of my game and the reason why it's taking so excruciatingly long to put together. Even the >x tasks tend to be more than just quick snapshots. I mean, when you're staring point- blank at a woman's tits, chances are she's noticing and reacting in some way. Yeah, that adds up to a boatload of text. It won't be for everyone, but I think it will please a few of you. I know I'm putting too much work into this thing, taking too much time. I might be setting myself up for disappointment when this beastie finally hits the streets. This may very well end up being an eighteen-inch Stonehenge or a big, bloated Battlefield Earth laughable vanity piece, but be-damned if I'm not doing it my way and having fun. Hopefully, when I release this game (sometime in 2021) that fun will translate. * * * Great Moments in AIF A bit of an obvious choice, I know, but who can say that Moist is not classic AIF? In fact, it’s often cited as the most classic of all classic AIF. For that reason, this month’s selection comes from that game. I chose to present the portion of the game where you finally win over Kim in the game of blackjack. Please note that this selection contains a spoiler for the Kim puzzle. If you haven’t played Moist, well, what are you waiting for? Play it now. And then you don’t have to bother reading this excerpt. > x kim Kim is Morghana's secretary. She is a business-woman, but a very feminine one, in her early thirties. She is slender, has medium-long, auburn hair, and a very pronounced bosom. She has a small but quite enticing ass. She is wearing a two-piece suit, consisting of a short blouse and a knee-long skirt. To your amazement you find you can see her gorgeous body right through her clothes. You eyes wander over her juicy tits, crowned with dark brown nipples, and down past her navel towards the brown bush between her legs. Kim seems totally unaroused. > bet diamond You bet the diamond. Kim says: "Lets see. Among the things I can offer you are an apple, a bronze key, and a gold piece." > kim, bet pussy "OK, so you bet the diamond," she says. "And you want me to bet my pussy? I don't know... It's a lovely diamond. I would really like to have it... OK, I'll do it. If you win, you can use my pussy any way you please for one minute." [Your score just went up by 1 point.] Kim deals the cards. You receive two cards face-up. She gives herself one card face-up, and one face-down. Besides the three open cards, your glasses enable you to see through the back of Kim's closed card, and the first card on the top of the desk. You have the 5 of spades, and the king of diamonds. Kim's open card is the 7 of diamonds. You see that her closed card is the 5 of clubs, and that on top of the deck the queen of clubs lies. "Do you want another card?" Kim asks. (YES or NO) > n Kim turns her closed card, and deals herself the queen of clubs. "22 points. Bust. I lose." she says. Kim looks a bit beaten. "All right," she says, "A bet is a bet. You've won and my pussy is yours for one minute." She then drops her skirt, and shows you her naked ass and juicy pussy. > lick pussy You sit on your knees between Kim's legs, and start eating her pussy. Kim moans. "Lick me!" Your tongue laps away at her pussy, savouring the wetness and the taste of her juice. Sometimes you even touch her ass with your tongue, which makes her moan a bit harder. You press the tip of your tongue against the entrance, and manage to penetrate her. Her tender clit lies open to you, and you touch it with your tongue. Kim shivers. After one minute, she closes her legs. "Thank you," she says. "That was really nice. I don't mind losing like this." She dresses again. (after doing this routine a few times) Kim opens her closed card, and draws the 3 of hearts. She has now 14 points and must draw again. The next card on the deck is the jack of spades. "24. Too bad. I lose." Kim looks a bit beaten. "All right," she says, "A bet is a bet. You've won and my pussy is yours for one minute." She then drops her skirt, and shows you her naked ass and juicy pussy. > lick pussy You sit on your knees between Kim's legs, and start eating her pussy. Kim moans. "Lick me!" Your tongue laps away at her pussy, savouring the wetness and the taste of her juice. Sometimes you even touch her ass with your tongue, which makes her moan a bit harder. You press the tip of your tongue against the entrance, and manage to penetrate her. Her tender clit lies open to you, and you touch it with your tongue. Kim shivers. She breathes heavily. After one minute, she closes her legs. "Thank you," she says. "That was really nice. I don't mind losing like this." She dresses again. Kim ponders for a few moments. She looks at you with a gleam in her eyes, and licks her lips. Her hands run over her breasts, and move towards the region between her legs. Then she comes to a decision. "All right," she says, "You got me really horny. God, I'm horny. I think we'll stop this game. Don't sweat it anymore. I want your body, and I want it now, and you can do to me whatever you like. I'm yours for the taking. From now on, I won't resist you anymore. At least, if you can keep me excited enough." She grabs the front of her blouse, and pulls the two sides apart, making the buttons fly around. She throws it in a corner, and throws her skirt on top of it. [Your score just went up by 1 point.] > kim, suck cock Kim motions towards the table, and you sit down on it. "All right, boy," she says, "I'm gonna suck you so hard you'll have to pluck the table cloth out of your ass when I'm finished with you." Kim takes your rod in her hand, strokes it a few times, and then bends over and takes it in her mouth. Her tongue dances like a snake around the tip of you cock. Her head bobs up and down, with her lips tightly around your shaft. She massages your balls with her right hand, while her left hand holds on to your shaft, and moves up and down with her head. She sucks at your cock like a vacuum cleaner. She manages to take the whole length in her mouth, and you feel your cock entering her throat. Her fervour convinces you she enjoys this a lot. > kim, suck cock Kim keeps blowing your dick. Her expertise is phenomenal. She massages your balls with her right hand, while her left hand holds on to your shaft, and moves up and down with her head. She sucks at your cock like a vacuum cleaner. She manages to take the whole length in her mouth, and you feel your cock entering her throat. Her fervour convinces you she enjoys this a lot. The tip of your cock swells in her mouth. She knows you are ready to get off. Teasingly, she pulls her head back, and look at your quivering tool. With one hand she tickles your balls. Her sharp tongue lashes out at the head of your cock, and runs quick circles around it. This is it! A small jet of pre-cum hits her tongue. This is the sign she's been waiting for, and suddenly she presses a thumb up your ass. You might have been shocked by this, but not at this very moment. Then you really get off, and you eject a long spurt of cum right across her face. Kim laughs, opens her mouth wide and catches the next two spurts there. She closes here mouth and presses her lips together. You see her swallowing your sperm, which makes you eject one last stream into her hair. Kim's eyes sparkle. * * * Forgotten AIF by BBBen Hello again – it’s time to highlight another game that I feel has not received proper recognition from the AIF audience. Authors deserve recognition for their work, and it’s easy for them to feel under recognised in a community with a thousand lurkers to every active member. Of course, this column need not just be of interest to people looking to recognise the efforts of AIF authors – it can also be of interest to people looking to dig through the archives for some interesting AIF they might not have played before. Game: Big Day Out Author: Loops Of Fury Released: 20th November 2002 Available at: http://aifcommunity.org/games/adrift/bdo.zip I wasn’t active in the AIF community until about a year after this game was released (I played the games, but hadn’t released any and didn’t read the forums), so I really don’t know how the game was received. I do know, however, that while the author Loops Of Fury intended to write a sequel called Big Night Out and to date there is no word on that ever being developed. It’s a pity because Big Day Out actually has quite a bit of very hot sex in the game – it’s actually a very enjoyable sex romp. It’s got a few of what I would probably consider either beginner mistakes or alternatively old school AIF features that current, experienced authors tend to try and avoid, but it does not feel at all underdeveloped. The problems I mentioned extend to a certain clumsiness in puzzle design that doesn’t direct you to your objectives very well (such as they are – the objectives are not really pointed out in the game, and it falls to the readme to outline them) and they are tricky as a consequence. Take for example the opening ‘puzzle’; there’s quite a clever idea here, the game starts with a sex scene with your wife but you can’t have anal sex because she’s not interested – therefore one of your main objectives on this “big day out” is to soften her up to the idea and eventually come back and finish the job. It’s a very nice idea and I even like the subtle way it’s introduced – the only problem is that there is an arousal system in there that means she tells you to piss off if you try to feel her up unless you’ve kissed and hugged her about 8 times getting the same response every time. This wouldn’t be such a big deal puzzle-wise if I actually knew that this kind of behaviour was needed – this is one of the ‘beginner or old school mistakes’ I was talking about – I wasn’t frustrated trying to get into her pants, I just honestly didn’t realise she might become interested. These days authors tend to try and tip you off that a sex scene is coming up so you don’t just give up the fight, and that would have been nice here; I guess the point I’m making is that I needed a walkthrough to get through the game. That said, I’ve replayed it a number of times because the sex is really good and once you know how to work the game out it’s a lot of fun. My favourite scene is with the player’s work-mate Allison, who is a closet submissive and likes to be called names; here’s an example: > call allison bitch Allison smiles at you. "Yes, BBBen, it's true I am a bitch. I'm a little slut. I'm a whore. I like being fucked and I want you to fuck me. I'll be your dirty bitch." And the sex with several other girls, including the wife Cathy, is very good too. It does not always have quite the level of thoroughness that you might expect from a real legend of AIF writing, but, hell, I’ve been guilty of writing sex scenes that are more abrupt than most of the sex scenes in BDO. Also, as I mentioned, the game does actually have an arousal system, which is a rarity in an ADRIFT game (not because it can’t be done, just because it’s a hassle). There are actually few games that are better within the ‘wandering around aimlessly fucking everything with tits’ genre (Sam Shooter I is better, for example, but that’s a classic) and it’s well worth a play if you haven’t tried it before. If you need a walkthrough use one, because it’s worth it to see the sex scenes. * * * AIF Glossary These days, every pastime seems to have its own lingo. Get three people together, and they'll have their own catchphrases by the end of the day. This month we continue glossary of AIF-related vocabulary words. The newsletter staff has compiled existing terms and made up several new ones. Each month, we’ll post new editions to the AIF lexicon. If a funny or apropos AIF term comes to mind, send it in and share it with the rest of the class! Cunnilinguistics (n): the limited speech permitted with a pussy in one's mouth. Ex. "Mmm-hmm," "nuh-uh" and "nugumph" Development drought (n): a period of weeks or months during which an author makes absolutely no progress on his game AIForeclosure (n): the point at which an author reluctantly abandons a troubled project Pleavalley (pleh-val-ee) (n): "pleasant valley" -- a more poetic term for the crack of a woman's ass Palley (pal-ee) (n): short form of pleavalley Drive-thru AIFer (n): a player who regularly consumes AIF without ever offering feedback to the author -- "You want fries with that?" Eighteen-inch Stonghenge (n): 1) an AIF game the author feels falls short of his original intentions 2) a ballyhooed AIF game that does not live up to players' expectations 3) see "This is Spinal Tap" Velvet (n): an exceptionally smooth and well-tailored SSS (steamy sex scene) also (adj): exceptionally smooth and satisfying (sexually) Velveeta (n): an exceptionally cheesy or distasteful sex scene also (adj): exceptionally cheesy or distasteful Cream scene (n): a PC ejaculation scene triggered in a game in which an "arousal state" variable has reached its maximum value Ohhellno (n): the moment when a first-time author discovers the ridiculous amount of work even a simple game requires Cex (n): AIF sex scenes written by someone who obviously has no sexual experience Sexclamation (n): an abrupt, forceful utterance made by a character during an AIF sex scene. Ex. "Oh God! Fuck me!" Cexclamation (n): an utterance made by a character during an AIF sex scene that no real person would ever make during sex. Ex. "Oh God! Split me asunder with your mighty manhood, oh great one!" or “AIIIIIIIIIIII! UHHKKKGGGHHHH!” NewKid (v): to employ an extremely attractive NPC to whom the player has no sexual access Bitterfrost (v): 1) to pour one's entire AIF career into one game, doing things in the most difficult manner possible against all reason and enjoying it with manic glee 2) to write extensively about not having time to work on one's AIF project, instead of actually working on the project also, (adj): done against reason in the most difficult manner possible Vulture shock (n): sensation an author feels when he finds his game unexpectedly savaged by players/reviewers Live AIF (n): AIF descriptions or scenes improvised via chat or e-mail * * * The Vachon Method by BBBen Over the years the AIF community has seen the emergence and subsequent career of a range of different authors, each with his or her own distinctive style and method of game development. The sociopathic humour of One-Eyed Jack or the “one really good day” sexual realism feel of much of Chris Cole’s work are good examples of this, but one author is truly more distinctive than any other, with the courage to brake away from the “accepted” and “popular” norms and challenge our conception of what constitutes an AIF game (and, in fact, what qualifies as coherent use of the English language). This author is, of course, Vachon. Vachon’s work has probably provoked more discussion than any other author in the history of AIF, and many other authors may seek (and in some cases have already sought) to emulate his style. No one has yet been fully successful so, with that in mind and with the intention of educating budding AIF authors in the development of their skills, are presented the following tips on how to fully employ and get the most out of the “Vachon Method”: 1. An element of the exotic is important to good writing. You can portray the exotic by writing about things with which you have no experience, and the impact can be emphasised by writing in a language with which you have only a passing familiarity. 2. If a beta-tester finds a fault with your game, there is something wrong with that beta-tester. You didn't put any flaws in the game did you? No, of course not, so you may as well ignore that tester from now on. 3. You know, this whole beta-testing thing is overrated anyway. Don't bother. 4. Once you've got the beginning of the game done and impressed everyone, it's okay to slack off a bit. Therefore while the level of detail doesn't have to be exhaustive at first, you can still let it peter off progressively afterward. 5. If a phrasing is obvious to you, it'll be obvious to everyone, even if you mix up your grammar, say by using an apostrophe on one occasion and omitting it the next time. So a command like "lick Jill's tits" can be followed by "rub Jills ass" without causing any confusion. 6. Sex always has to take place in a particular order. To replicate a realistic scene, generally you will have to put the "rub pussy" command before the "lick pussy" command. Girls don't like cunnilingus unless you've first fingered them. 7. Sometimes the best way to get a sex scene going with a girl you may not even know very well is to hug them for no apparent reason. If that fails, try showing them your cock. 8. The player is having trouble working out what verb or noun to type? Of course he is! That's called a puzzle, my friend. They make the game challenging and interesting. 9. Lesbians just haven’t met the right guy yet, and the “right guy” is the one who ties her up and forces her to have sex with him. Trust me, she’ll thank you. 10. Deep down, every girl wants to have sex with her brother. All he needs to do is show interest. (See tip #7 for the best way to show interest.) 11. Writing AIF needn’t be such hard work as everyone claims it is. One area where you can make serious time savings is on the plot – skip it. 12. Trust your instincts. Your first approach will generally be the right one. Check that - your first approach will always be the right one. 13. Your game's easy right? After all, you've never had any trouble figuring it out. Anybody who says it's not "winnable" must be pretty dumb. 14. After the first ten games you've released it's pretty presumptuous for anyone to try and tell you how to use the game-design system. Whatever these "ALR files" are, they certainly don't have anything to do with ADRIFT. 15. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!!" <--See that? That's quality dialogue right there. * * * Game Reviews Unexpected Proposal Review by Purple Dragon Game Info: Unexpected Proposal Author: Vachon Release Date: Mar 21, 2003 Platform: Adrift 3.9 Size: 32KB Content: m/f, incest, underage (17yo) Type: ANW (A night with) Length: Short Reviewed: May 2007 Extras: None General Information (on Vachon’s games): To save myself some time I’m just going to write this once and it applies to all my reviews of Vachon’s games. Well, My mouth got me into trouble again when I posted on one of the boards that I would be willing to play and review all of Vachon’s games. I imagine that I was drunk at the time but whatever the reason, I’m here to make good on my promise so that there is a written review of the games for anyone contemplating playing any of them. My suggestion if you are thinking about loading one up is don’t. However, If you must then please realize that these games represent (by nearly unanimous opinion) the worst that AIF has to offer. You have been warned. I’m not really sure what Vachon’s native tongue is but suffice it to say that he has only a passing familiarity with the English language. As a result, just about the only responses you get that contain no spelling or grammar mistakes are the default messages supplied by Adrift. I’ve never before been so glad to learn that there is evidently no need for language like that (at least it was a complete sentence). The spelling and grammatical errors range from merely annoying to nearly incomprehensible. Simply using a spell check of some kind would have at least cut down on some of these but evidently such a thing did not exist when he was writing his games. Playing through his games gives me a bit of a headache because it actually reads almost like a foreign language that I have to translate as I go along to make sense of what is happening. If all that is not enough to send you running the other way then please read on. Basic Story: You have always lusted after your sister and when she comes for a visit you finally get your chance with her. Overall Thoughts: First of all, if incest isn’t your thing then you should avoid this game. Second, if incest is you thing then you should still avoid this game. The situation would be laughable if it weren’t so sad. Your younger sister comes to visit and basically throws herself at you, begging you to fuck her. It just so happens that this is something you have always wanted so it all works out (I guess). There are several things here that just don’t make sense (aside from incest itself but that’s another discussion). Your sister is 17 years old and living with her boyfriend. You are 5 years older (22) and still living at home with your parents. Furthermore, not only is she living with her boyfriend but at one point mentions that she has been living with him “for years”. Possible I suppose, but much more likely just another example of sloppy writing. Puzzles/Game Play: There are no real puzzles in this game except for a few little things that you have to do to progress through the ‘story’. In nearly every case Vachon tells you exactly what you need to do. ‘Maybe you should open the front door’, ‘You’re thirsty, go get something to drink’, and so on. While this does eliminate the ‘guess the verb’ problems of his first game it is so blatant that it doesn’t feel like a game at all. It might as well just say ‘press any key to continue’. Sex: The sex is badly written and boring. Here is a little sample to whet (or kill) your appetite. START QUOTE “Her big swollen breasts point straight into the air and they seem rock hard as you start to rock her body. You continue to fuck her for what seems like hours. "OH GOD, YES, YES, FUCK ME, DEEPER." "AAAHHHGHG!" Her body shakes as wave after wave of orgasm shoots through her. Your cock gets totally buried in cum and it runs out onto the bed. You had no idea someone could cum so much. "You make me feel so good, I have never felt like this with anyone before. I really feel like doing something special for you. Would you like to fuck my ass?" You can't believe what you hear, all your dreams are coming true. "Yes, I would love to" you respond. "Great, I was almost afraid you did not want to. Look in my bag, it's in the wardrobe in my room. I have something there I want you to use, put it on and come back here.” END QUOTE That’s about as good as it gets. No, I swear, that’s as hot as it gets. By the way, once you get the lube the command is ‘wear lube’ so the game isn’t completely without guess the verb problems. Technical: There are no game breaking errors here or impossible to guess commands but there are a LOT of problems. Want a couple of examples? Well I’m going to give them anyway. Look through the keyhole when no one is there and it says no one is there. Good. Look through when Lucy is there and it describes her the first time but then says no one is there even when she still is. Things keep appearing as if by magic. There is nothing in the refrigerator until you get thirsty and then there’s a coke. There is nothing in the wardrobe until she tells you to go look in her bag and then it’s there. You can only do things once. He didn’t even bother to click the box in Adrift that would just repeat the same response. This is especially annoying with things like examining her body parts. I could go on but you get the idea. Final Thoughts: This game lacks some of the problems of his first game but picks up many others in their place. Errors in a game this size should be nearly nonexistent and yet nearly every command finds something strange, stupid, or flat out wrong. The sex is short, bland, and not the least bit arousing. The next time I have a few minutes to kill I think I’ll do something a bit more exciting, like balancing my checkbook, and give this one a skip. Rating: F Virgin Review by Purple Dragon Game Info: Virgin Author: Vachon Release Date: Sep 12, 2003 Platform: Adrift 3.9 Size: 65KB Content: m/f, incest, underage (15yo) Type: T&AIF Length: Short Reviewed: May 2007 Extras: None Basic Story: You have a crush on the girl next door. Her name is Ruby and she has never given you any indication that she knows you exist. The object, of course, is to score with her. Overall Thoughts: Are these actually getting worse or is it just me? Girl next door stories are a staple in porn and erotica and AIF has certainly had its share. This one is just boring and nonsensical even for Vachon. Ok, so you like the girl next door but she doesn’t know you exist. The opening of the games says that maybe you should find a different way to approach her. You mean that peeping at her through the window across the street wasn’t working? What does it take? Well, in this case it evidently takes fucking all three of your sisters in one afternoon, which causes the beautiful Ruby to fall into your lap. Puzzles/Game Play: There are really no puzzles here at all. When you fuck your first sister she gives you a magazine that you have to give to sister number 2 but that hardly qualifies. The game is just moving from one girl to the next and fucking them in the right order (see below). Sex: The sex is even more boring than the other games of his I’ve played. In addition to the standard language problems the dialog itself is ridiculous. What do I mean by ridiculous I hear no one asking? Here’s an excerpt. START QUOTE Carefully you run your hands under Heathers' skirt and over her panties. "What are you ... don't do that." "It is just for you Heather, just feel, and if you do not think it feels nice, tell me so and I won't do it again." "But .... it's so wrong" Heather says nervousely "Just try, do it for me, if you do not, I promise to buy you a big bag of candy." "Oh, do you promise?" she shines up with all her face. She goes quite for a couple of minutes then you hear her starting to moan and you feel how she starts to press her legs around your hand. You continue to move your hands between her legs over her pussy. "Oh, I feel so strange Biff, warm all over." "Don't bother about that, just try to enjoy. "Maybe we should remove your pants, maybe it will feel better then?" you ask her. "Can you help me?" You are more than happy to help, you take off her pants and her panties, and she doesn't object. "My, Heather, these are already wet." "I don't know how it happened" she answers as if she was ashamed. After you toss them away you continue to move your hands over her pussy lips. Soon you see that her stomach starts to move more rapidly "AAAAHH Yeeess, more, more." Now she leans over to the couch with her legs spread apart and you start to move your fingers inside her wet hole. "AHHHHHGGHHHH GAAAWWDD YEEAHH!" Then she can't hold back, with a rush through her body, wave of orgasm shoots over your fingers and hands. What is that?" Ruby asks pointing at the wet place in the couch. "It is a evidence on how much you just enjoyed yourself" you tell her. "Oh, I am sorry" Heather says "Don't be, it felt good, did it not? you ask her She nods in respond with a smile on her face. END QUOTE Did I just offer to buy her candy? What the hell? Here you have three sisters that you have evidently been living with for a number of years completely platonically and yet you manage to have all three of them in a single afternoon. Of course, all three make a point of telling you repeatedly what a stud you are. I realize that with AIF it is often necessary suspend disbelief. After all, when it comes right down to it we are not really looking for realism here but a good story or hot sex (maybe even both if we’re lucky). In this game you don’t have to suspend disbelief, you have to kill it, stuff it in a box, wrap a chain around it, and throw it in the ocean. There is also a certain order you have to do things in. First kiss her, then rub ass, then rub tits, then lick tits, etc. If you try to deviate from the schedule the game tells you to wait, or go slower, or whatever. The order does not even make sense most of the time and it’s not the same for every girl so you have start over every time. Technical: I have to admit that this one is a bit less buggy than the ones that have come before it. You can examine body parts (more than once even). There are actually a few conversational topics with each girl, and while the responses are as bad as the rest, at least they are there. The game has nearly no objects to interact with, which lowers the technical score a bit but at the same time this just means there were less things for him to mess up so it works in this case. Final Thoughts: This was the least interactive, adult interactive fiction game that I have ever played. Asking the girls about things is optional, examining body parts is optional, and examining the few other objects in the environment is optional. Other than that every single command has got to be typed in exactly the right order to get the game to move forward toward its anti-climax. Even if the writing had been exemplary, (it should go without saying that this is not the case here) this level of control over what the player can do at any point would have sapped all the fun out of the game for me. Rating: F Big Stuff Review by Purple Dragon Game Info: Big Stuff Author: Vachon Release Date: Feb 24, 2003 Platform: Adrift 3.9 Size: 139KB Content: m/f, m/f/f, underage (16yo) Game Type: T&AIF Length: Medium Reviewed: May 2007 Extras: None Basic Story You play an 18-year-old boy who is staying with some friends of you parents. The aforementioned friends are currently away for some reason leaving you in the house with a bevy of very willing young ladies to amuse you. The basic object is to fuck anything that has tits (so far, so good). Overall Thoughts This was quite a large game (or at least had the potential to be). There are over 30 rooms and 9 girls to have your way with. I say potentially because if you completely remove any trace of a plot then it really cuts down on play time and leaves you with just a string of sexual encounters. Now, if the sex is well written then sometimes that’s enough but unfortunately the sex is . . . well, we’ll get to that. There are a lot of bugs in this game (and saying ‘a lot’ is just me being generous). If I were beta testing it instead of doing a review I would probably just throw up my hands and admit defeat. I’m not going to start listing them all here but if, after reading the rest of this review, you still decide to play it just be prepared for a frustrating experience. Puzzles/Game Play The puzzles in this game are all finding an object (usually a book), giving it to the right girl, and then fucking her. It’s true that this is not very imaginative but I guess it’s fine as far as it goes. The ‘puzzles’ themselves are all pretty straightforward except for the first one where you have to figure out how to get out of your room. However, since that is more a ‘guess the verb’ problem than a puzzle I will discuss it under the technical section below. Sex I have already mentioned the spelling and grammar problems that make reading though the responses more of a chore than a pleasure. Unfortunately, that is not the only problem with the sex in the game. Even if it were rewritten with the spelling and grammar corrected it would still not be very interesting. The same sexual commands are not available for all the girls. Sometimes you can rub a girl’s breasts, sometimes not. Sometimes you can type ‘fuck girl’ sometimes you have to type ‘fuck girl’s (or ‘girls’ actually. Vachon had evidently never heard of an apostrophe) pussy’. It all just seems rather random and the only way to figure out the right command is by trial and error. The writing itself is sophomoric, prosaic, and at times nonsensical in a way that has nothing to do with spelling errors. To put it bluntly, if you are looking for hot sex, this ain’t it. Technical Before writing this review I had never really played the game before. The reason is that the first time I tried I was unable to get out of the initial room and frankly didn’t care enough to keep trying. I suppose I should warn you that this is a spoiler but I don’t think I can spoil the game any more by telling you this so here we go. You start the game in the guestroom, which is where you are staying. The door is locked for some unknown reason so the first ‘puzzle’ is finding a way out. I think it might be easier to just see a small transcript of the first few turns here. My comments below are in [brackets]. START QUOTE >look Guest Room This is a guest room. It is the room in which you live, at least for now. Joe and Kim, those who own this place, have told you that you will get your own room soon. They have just not made it yet, so for a while you will have to live here, not that you mind, it's good to have some place to stay. Because this is the guest room, there's not much in it. It has a wardrobe in one corner, and of course, your bed. It even has a bookshelf, for storing books (of course). Though neither the bookshelf nor any of the books in it are yours, your travel bag is in front of your bed, on the other side of the door there is a window which has lots of trees behind it. On the side of your bed you see a small table [It’s writing like this that made me not want to try too hard the first time I played and this is actually pretty clear compared to some of the responses you get later on.] >x bookshelf This is a bookshelf that stands from floor to ceiling in your room, it doesn't have many books in it, and most of those you don't understand the language on A Book about medical care is inside the Bookshelf. >take book about medical care You take a Book about medical care from the Bookshelf. [You have to type that whole thing. Just typing ‘take book’ won’t work. If you do play this game (for some reason) then the auto-complete feature in Adrift is definitely your friend.] >east You can't go in any direction! >x door Nothing special. >open door It's locked >unlock door You can't unlock that. >x bag This is your bag which you had with you when you came here. It contains some of your things, it stands just in front of your bed >open bag You can't open the Bag! >x bed This is your bed. It's quite big (as everything in this house), and colored red. >search bed You find a key, which you take [When I first played this it took me a bit longer to find the key. I tried the wardrobe (which evidently doesn’t actually exist). I tried things like looking in and under the bed, which don’t work. But ok, I guess ‘search bed’ is fairly logical and at least now I have the key and can get that door opened right?] >unlock door You can't unlock that. [What?] >open door You have already done that. [I did?] >x door Nothing special. [Nope, still no door in sight and this is about where I quit before. I might have eventually happened upon the correct command but I frankly didn’t see the point in continuing. At any rate, here is the command you need.] >unlock bag you unlock the bag using the key, A door opens [Ahh, now I see. The bag was evidently locked (although it was never mentioned) and unlocking it triggers the door (huh?). Well, now the rest of the house is open to you and you can fuck cardboard cutouts to your hearts content.] END QUOTE Final Thoughts By now you may have gotten the impression that I didn’t care all that much for this game (to put it mildly). I really tried to think about how I would rate it if the language problems were not an issue. It feels a bit incomplete and rather boring but all in all, not the worst game I’ve played. Without the spelling and grammar errors I probably would have given it a D. However, it is simply not possible to separate those problems from the game at large and adding them into the equation, I’m sorry to say, brings the grade down to an F. This was (I believe) Vachon’s earliest released game (‘Relatives’ came out earlier but it was updated and since that is the version I’m going to review I will do so in its proper place) so, giving him the benefit of the doubt just this once, I will raise the grade a bit. Join me on my insane quest to rate them all and see if time and experience will improve this first time author’s games. Rating: D- * * * AIF Wants You If you can write game reviews, articles, opinion pieces, humorous essays, or endless blather, we want you. Contact the Editor for suggested content or just write what you want and send it to us. * * * Staff Editor: A Ninny is an AIF player, author of three AIF games and frequent beta-tester. His Parlour received an Erin for Best “One Night Stand” game in 2004. His most recent game is Malaise. Webmaster: Darc Nite is a newcomer to the AIF scene. He is an avid gamer who heard the call for help with the AIF Newsletter. Staff: A Bomire is the author of several TADS AIF games, including Dexter Dixon: In Search of the Prussian Pussy, Tomorrow Never Comes and The Backlot. His games have won numerous awards and Erin nominations. He was the co-recipient of the Badman Memorial Lifetime Achievement Award in 2006. BBBen is an AIF author. His games have received two Erin awards, numerous nominations and first place in A. Bomire's 2004 mini-comp. Grimm Sharlak is the author of two AIF games: Breakout and Of Masters and Mistresses: Abduction. Christopher Cole has written many popular ADRIFT AIF games, including Camp Windy Lake, Gamma Gals, and Mount Voluptuous. He is the 2005 winner of AIF’s Badman Memorial Lifetime Achievement Award. Bitterfrost is a longtime IF/AIF player working on his first (and last) game, How I Got Syphilix. * * * Submitting Your Work to 'Inside Erin' Please direct all comments, articles, reviews, discussion and art to the Editor, A. Ninny, at aifsubmissions@gmail.com.