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DELRON
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Monster Island Reviews
Author: Jim The Hermit
Date: 2011
ADRIFT 4.0
Reviewed by David Whyld.
I had a quick bash through your game and unfortunately
found it pretty rough around the edges.
First things first: go easy on the multiple text colours in the intro. I have my
display set to white text on a black background and dark purple and green text
just doesn’t show up very well. You’re best picking one colour and sticking to
it (though admittedly I used to think multiple colours were a nice idea at one
point). You also need to flesh out the introduction. I’m not saying a five page
intro is necessary, but you certainly need more than just a single line.
Past and present tense are often mixed up. This is the main cabin:
QUOTE
This was the main cabin of my boat. Much of it was destroyed in the storm. Also
here is a supply chest. I can only move up.
The first two sentences are past tense, the next two present. It makes for a
jarring read.
On the deck, examining the gas tank informs me that it’s closed. I try to open
it but can’t because I’m not carrying it. Upon trying to take it, I’m informed I
can’t, though no reason is given as to why not. The hints (and please create
your own hints. ADRIFT’s built in system is awful) tell me I need to siphon some
gas out of the gas tank, though at the time I saw the hints I wasn’t even aware
it had any gas in it. The description of the gas tank certainly doesn’t indicate
this.
I spotted quite a few typos right from the start: “tastey” and “cementary” stood
out. And why does the Creature need a capital C? Is Creature its name?
Descriptions are short. Much too short. This is a text adventure. At least give
me something interesting to read. In particular, when I killed the Creature, I
was told something like “OK, the Creature is dead”. Shouldn’t this have been a
little more dramatic?
Fix the score. I achieved a score of 150 when I quit but was told when I typed
SCORE that I had a score of 150 out of 0.
On the plus side, you avoided the newbie pitfall of not providing descriptions
for static items. On the down side, almost every description was too short to
have any real depth, which is nearly as bad as no descriptions at all.
Reviewed by Duncan Bowsman
Interesting idea for a game, but I found interacting with it really hard. Lots
of guess the verb problems, errors in writing. Perhaps my biggest problem (aside
from never figuring out how to use the harpoon gun) was that I seemed to be
getting led into having to kill the Fish Man somehow, but I never knew why. He
seemed pretty peaceful, actually. Am I actually supposed to be the monster here?
That could be an interesting twist, but I don't think it's actually the author's
intention.
Reviews should be considered copyrighted by their respective authors.
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