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Hidden Assets Reviews
What does AIF stand for? Adult Interactive Fiction.
If you likely to
be offended by games with sexual content, you are advised not
to open these files.
Reviewed by Purple Dragon (Inside Erin: The AIF Newsletter Volume 3 Number 8 August, 2007)
You just started a new job and the office is full of beautiful and very willing ladies. The goal is to fuck the bossí wife but there are many other encounters along the way.
Itís your first day at a new job so you go off to orientation? No thatís not it. You get to your office and try to get some work done? Nope. You fuck anything that moves on your way to your ultimate goal of banging your bossí wife. Yeah, thatís the ticket.
But this is AIF right? The goal SHOULD be to fuck anything that moves right? Maybe, but another goal should be to have some fun along the way and that is something that didnít happen for me.
A few of the girls actually want you to give them something before you can start in on them. Other than that, not really any puzzles here (at least nothing that was supposed to be a puzzle).
Rather that go into the pros and cons of the sex in this game I thought I would treat you to a sample from some of the scenes and let you decide for yourself. The following quotes are all dialog from the various sex actions and are unchanged by me except that I have cut out the descriptions to leave just the Ďdialogí.
While performing cunnilingus on a lady:
"Oh yeahhhg, lick me, eat me, make me wet, taste me, aoohhhghg, AHHHHHHGHHHH, don .....
ďwhat are you going to do now Biff? . . . oh yeah, spread my pussy lips, eat me . . . oh, just, jusst... ahhhhhhhhhhhggggggggooooooooooodd.
ďoh yeah, bury you face in my pussy, let me feel your tounge in it, ohhhhggaaawwwd . . .
Mmmmmm, oh so goooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaad".
"Ahhhhgh, yeeeess, i wiill, ohhh goooood, oh fuuuck, i i i, cuuumming"
While the lady is performing fellatio on you:
"I want you in my mouth NOW"
"Ohhh, i can't stand it, amaziiing, ahhhhhhg, i will cumm"
"Good, i want your cum, shoot it in me. That's what i like you, you know how to please a girl"
While engaging in sodomy:
"DO IT, stick it up my ass"
"want to feel my cock bitch, ride my cock,"
"Ahhhh Biff, agagagh . . . Ahhhg, i can't take it more, i'mm cuuuuuummmmming"
"Slide your cock up my ass, let me show you how tight my ass is . . . ohh, fuck me hard, let me feel your balls slapping against my ass . . . oh yeah Biff, tear my ass open . . . hey, that's not fair, it is ....... IM CUMMMING . . . cum in my ass . . . Hey, i think i came by the assfucking and by you rubbing my pussy, we have to do that again some times."
"oh yeah, fuck my ass . . . what are you ... oh fuuu ..... oh yeah, do no, do noo, cuuuumm .... iiiiin asssssssssss . . . oaooohhhhhhehhahh
"I want your big dick in my ass now lover, are you up to that? . . . ahhh, yesss . . . wait, that is not fair, that is not ....., aahhahhhgh . . . oh yess, fuck my ass, fuck me, fuck ......, I wont be able to sit down for a few days now"
And of course, while engaging in sexual intercourse:
ďoh fuuu, im goooonnna, im cummmming, fuuuuuu...oohohhh yeeeah."
"ooh, ffff..., iiiff youu do that mmmmooore, ii wiiil cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumm"
"aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, how big are youu, iii loovoe iitt, ii allllmoooost cuumminng alllreaady . . .
ahahhhhh, fuuckk mee haardd . . . ooh honney, iim cumming. Finally, i myself has lost count, i
will not let anyone but you into my pussy for a looong time"
ďaaah goood, i loove it, fuck me hard, let me feel your entire length, let my pussy swallow your cock whole, aoogghhhg, goood, i'm cuuuuuuuuuuming"
"oh yeah, ahah, ahaah, ahaa, more, more, deeper, harder . . . oh my goo...., oh yeah, oh yeah, i, i, i, am cuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmuing. ohhh yeah, cum in me, let me get your hot wad What is it with you, how much stamina do you got, don't you ever get tired. not that i'm complaining, i have never been fucked like this, this is the best fuck i ever had. I think we have to get to know each other more, after work."
"oh yeah, let me feel your hard, do you like my pussy, u think it feels good, fuck me hard, spray your hot cum all over me. . . ohhhh man, aagggggggg, ooooohhhgghhhhhheeeyeeyyyy,
oooohohohh yeeeeeeeeeeeess, iiiiiiiii, i am cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiiing . . . I have never been loved like this before, wow."
And finally, the award for the quickest change from rape victim to nymphomaniac goes to . . .
ROXY! Letís give her a hand folks while we take a look at the scene that got her here.
When you stand there and see this great figure before you, you can not help yourself, you move fast behind her grab her skirt and remove her white panties, then you roughly push yourself in her before she understand what is happening, "what the?...., nooo, please dont, ohh, ohh, oh yes" then she begins to jerk against you, "oh yeees, fuck me, fuck me more, deeper, harder" she begs. and who are you to refuse. You shove your cock in her even deeper, "aahhhhg, yeeeees, thatts itt" she tryes to say. Suddenly you explode deep in her pussy, you cum so hard it comes out of her and unto her ass. This is the best sex you had so far, "Lets continue this in your room" Roxy says smilingly at you as she moves away to the north
So, whatís the moral of our story? I think Iíll sum it up in a note to the new or potential authors out there. Adding extra letters to words in sex scenes does not, I repeat, DOES NOT mean that you are writing good dialog.
There are almost no objects to examine in the game. The room description might say that you are in an office and can see a desk, a chair, a computer, a bookshelf, etc. But donít expect to be able to examine any of them. If you CAN examine something then take it as a hint since there is something you will need to do with it. This usually means a desk with a drawer to be opened or some such.
The author has done one very helpful thing in this game. I know that when Iím at work and Iíve decided to work my way through all the girls in the office the thing that I find most annoying is having to keep taking my pants on and off. If anyone can identify with me on that one then this is the game for you. I stripped down prior to the first sex scene and just did not bother to ever put my clothes back on. Ah, the freedom.
There are a lot of guess the command problems in the game although most of them only matter if you are interested in getting all the points. Unlike some of his other games you do not have to do every command in a certain order (or at all) to finish the game, which is definitely an improvement. However, there is one that you do have to do if you want to finish it. It is one of the last scenes when you are fucking the bossí 16 year old daughter who evidently works there too (???). You can fuck her and might think that this is the end but if you do then you didnít notice that . . . the couch can be examined! You have to lie on the couch and then type ďfuck Sarah on couchĒ. Then she gives you a letter that can be used to get to the end of the game. I had to use a walkthrough to find that one.
There are actually a couple of things about this game that were better than some of the others I have played. Some commands can be repeated with different responses. The player is not required to do the commands in a predetermined order, which means that if you canít guess the proper command, you are at least not stuck at that point forever. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of problems. The lack of objects to examine (including all the body parts of all the girls) really hurts the game. Like usual, the girls are cardboard cutouts, there just to utter inane dialog extolling the incredible sexual prowess of a PC just as boring and one-dimensional as they are. Add to this the ever-present language problems and you are left with a distinctly frustrating and unfulfilling experience.
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